Deconstructing Sexist Comments: From Casual Remarks to Systemic Bias

If you’re a woman, you’ve heard it.

And if you’re a man, I’m sure you’ve said it too.

But not everyone is aware of the extent to how often women hear sexist comments which are considered purely harmless, or how pervasive they are in daily life. Sexist comments are an unfortunate reality that women face in their daily lives.

What is Sexism?

Sexism is a system in which men have power and control over women based on their gender. It’s also a system that denies women equal access to opportunities and resources because of their gender. Sexists believe that women should only be valued for their appearance and sexual availability rather than for their brains, talents, or other traits that make them human beings.

Women experience sexist comments all the time on a daily basis—in the workplace, at home, with friends and family members, and even in public spaces like restaurants or parks. A woman could go out for lunch with her co-workers and overhear one of them make an inappropriate comment about her outfit or her body; she could overhear someone else’s husband make hurtful comments about his wife’s weight; she might overhear a group of teenage boys talking about how girls aren’t allowed to drive cars because they can’t be as good as boys as they are slow learners.

I can’t believe it’s even a thing, but every day, women are subjected to sexist comments that make them feel like they’re just not good enough.

It starts with the catcalls we hear on the street. Then it moves to the “compliments” at work (or in class). And then it escalates into nasty comments from our bosses and coworkers—and even from our friends.

It’s easy to dismiss these comments as harmless—after all, they’re just jokes!—but they can actually have a serious impact on your mental health and self-worth. Here are some statistics that show just how many women face this kind of harassment every day:

90% of women have heard offensive sexist comments directed at them while walking down the street or in public places

I know how it feels.

When you’re a woman and you hear sexist comments, it can be so much more than just a momentary annoyance or irritation. It can leave you feeling like you’re being judged and put down—like your opinion doesn’t matter as much as a man’s. And for many women, these comments are so frequent that they become a part of our daily lives and thoughts.

In addition to the physical pain that comes along with being ogled or groped without consent on a daily basis, many women face emotional pain as well. That’s why I want to speak out against sexist comments on women everywhere: because when we laugh at them (or even when we don’t), they’re also laughing at us. And no one should be made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable in their own home or workplace because of what people say about them online

When we talk about sexism in tech and all the other workplaces, we often focus on the things women hear or face every day. We hear sexist comments and more subtle forms of discrimination that leave us feeling devalued and discouraged.

I have a personal anecdote to share: I have a friend who recently went through a difficult time at work. Her team was working on a project that had been delayed for months, and she was frustrated by the lack of progress.

One day, she was having lunch with another member of her team when she got a text message from her manager: “Did you see what your project leader said to me today? She doesn’t have good feedback!”

That moment was one of many moments where I felt like my friend wasn’t being treated as an equal member of the team because she was only doing her job rather than any other favors for her boss—and it made me wonder how many other women felt this way every day.

In today’s society, women are faced with sexist comments on a regular basis. These comments can come from friends, family, and strangers—and they’re often more subtle than blatant.

In a recent study conducted by the Institute of Women’s Policy Research and the Center for American Progress, women reported hearing sexist comments at work or in public places at least once a day. That’s one in six women!

The study also found that women often heard these comments when they were out with friends, which is something we all know happens to us all the time. But there’s an added layer of guilt: We feel like we don’t want to make waves or cause drama if our friends are talking about me behind my back.

Some of those comments are just flat-out mean—like the guy who told his friend that he’d “never be able to really get over” his ex-girlfriend because she had “the body of a porn star.” Others were more subtle: The woman who was told she “wasn’t as beautiful as other girls at [her] age” because she’d gained weight over the years.

It’s important for us all to recognize that this kind of behavior is wrong and unacceptable. If you hear something sexist around you, pick up the courage to fight for your worth because its more to be a woman than this.

“You’re too pretty to be a programmer.”

“You should smile more, it makes you prettier.”

“I didn’t say ‘that’s sexist,’ I said ‘that’s wrong.’ Why do you have to be so sensitive?”

These are just a few examples of the kinds of comments I’ve heard and experienced as a woman in tech and corporate places. While these sexist comments might seem benign enough, they carry with them a lot of weight: weight that can significantly impact my confidence and self-esteem. They can make me feel ashamed for the way I look or feel about myself, which means that those around me may pick up on those feelings and start making their own assumptions about me. That can lead to more harmful comments—like “Why do you have to be so high maintenance?” or “You’re being too picky! Find someone who will treat you better!”

The reality is that sexism is pervasive in every industry, and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. It affects all genders, but it especially affects women.

Surely, with my background in science and education, I must be a feminist—right?

But no.

I’m not a feminist. And here’s why:

When it comes to women’s rights, I believe that men and women are equal. That they should have equal access to opportunities and resources. That they should be able to make choices about their lives without judgment or bias from others. But when it comes to the topic of sexism… well, let’s just say that my opinion is a bit more complicated.

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and being a woman myself—and I know how hard it can sometimes be for us as females to speak up about our feelings or opinions when we feel like we’re being judged or criticized for them by others around us (or even by ourselves). This is especially true when we’re talking about something controversial or political—which often means someone else’s opinion might seem wrong or “bad” because they disagree with yours!

Women are often reminded of their gender in the most hurtful ways, and it’s not just in the workplace. Sexist comments have permeated our society for far too long, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and undermining gender equality.

The following acts are not only hurtful, but they’re also illegal:

1. Sexual harassment: This is when an employer (or any other person) makes unwanted sexual advances toward a worker.

2. Stalking: This is when someone follows or monitors someone else without their consent.

3. Domestic violence: This refers to physical abuse between spouses or partners in an intimate relationship, as well as acts committed by anyone against another person within such relationships (for example, financial exploitation).

4. Perjury: It’s when someone makes false statements under oath in order to deceive others (for example, lying about their intentions during a job interview).

5. False imprisonment: This refers to an act that prevents someone from leaving their home or place of work without permission; for example, being locked up at home against their will due to domestic violence.

When we think of sexist comments, we often think of the kinds of things that men say about women. But what about the times when women are telling other women that they’re being sexist?

I am not talking about harmless flirting or friendly ribbing. I am talking about comments that can make you feel unsafe and unwelcome—comments that are meant to make you feel uncomfortable, or even intimidated.

More than half of all Americans (55%) have heard a sexist joke at least once in their life, according to a recent poll conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs and The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. The most common type of joke is one that makes fun of women who are overweight (34%), followed by jokes about women’s appearance or clothing (26%). These types of jokes are often told by men who perceive themselves as powerful and dominant over those around them, yet they also reflect larger issues

In the past few months, I’ve had an epiphany: Women are not the only ones who experience sexism.

I asked myself: “How often do you hear sexist comments?” and “How often do you witness it in your daily life?”

I was shocked to learn that the answer is, “All the time.”

Here’s what I mean by that. When I was growing up, we watched movies like The Color Purple and Braveheart. We were taught that men and women were equal—that they could do anything they wanted to do, as long as they worked hard enough for it. But when we got older and started talking about real life, it became clear that this wasn’t true everywhere.

Women are often than men for doing the same job, and there’s a much higher chance that a woman will be sexually harassed at work than there is for a man. Our society still expects women to be submissive to their husbands (or boyfriends) who have power over them financially or socially. It’s just not fair!

I know these things because I’ve experienced them firsthand—and many other women have too! So here are some statistics from my research:

* According to one survey of over 2,000 women: “Women are told that they are not good enough.”

They are told that they are “too emotional” and “too sensitive.” They are told that their bodies are too big, too small, or don’t fit the “ideal” body. They are told that their opinions don’t matter because they aren’t as smart as men or because they have children to take care of. They are told that they should just smile more often so people won’t think less of them.

Women face this kind of sexism every day. But we don’t have to accept it.

We can fight back with strategies like:

-Doing your best not to internalize these messages (which is hard!)

-Discussing these comments and letting people know you believe in yourself (this is also hard!)

-Laughing at the fact that someone thinks it’s OK for them to make fun of another person for no reason at all!

While writing this I just realized what a privilege it is to be able to express my views on behalf of so many women- for our friends and our sisters and our mothers—and I have to do better than this!

I think about how every day women are faced with comments like “Lose weight!” or “Stop dressing so fancy!” or “You look tired” or “Do you even know how long it takes to get ready?” These are all things that people say every day to women, but they don’t just roll off your back like water off a duck’s back; they sting like acid on your skin. It hurts so badly! And knowing that these things happen every day makes me feel hopeless sometimes.

The fight against sexist comments requires our collective effort to create a more inclusive and respectful society. By owning our values, seeking support, educating ourselves and others, leading by example, creating safe spaces, celebrating diversity, advocating for change, and embracing compassion, we can challenge the harmful effects of sexism and discrimination.

Remember, this is not just a battle for women—it’s a cause that requires the involvement and support of men as well. Together, we need to break down barriers, challenge stereotypes, and foster a future where every individual is respected, valued, and free from the constraints of gender bias.